Elf on the Shelf 2019

Elf on the Shelf – DAY 3

Sorry guys! I’ve been parked on this toilet ALL NIGHT!


I got a court summons in the mail yesterday about all my unpaid child support and my stomach’s been REAL tore up about it! 💩 I used to pay it, but when I saw her getting her nails done and buying a new car, I put two and two together & told her I wasn’t paying another dime! Its been 5 years now and I owe $90,000. 🤑 I don’t even think the elf is MINE!!! I’ve tried everything in the past to get money – I even faked a leg issue and tried to get disability! Hope you don’t mind but I drank all your Pepto, and I tried stuffing my butt with toilet paper but it just kept coming out!

I’ve just got a lot of problems!

Advice to other elves: if she draws her eyebrows on with a marker, RUN because she lookin’ for her payday!!!

So sorry I ‘unloaded’ on you like this! ☻ I think i’m okay now and I’m gonna get ready for church. 🙌

DISCLAIMER: This is mini chocolate chips & southern gold bbq sauce! LOL THIS IS NOT REAL DIARRHEA