I Followed My Dreams & Got a Side-Shave

I got a side-shave.

& it has been one of the best things I have ever done for myself.

My hair has almost always been long, straight, & flat. I’ve had it cut short only once (in order to cut out old, grown-out color). After that, I discovered that short hair was not for me. Lol But the thing with long hair is that it weighs you down, & it takes longer to style & blow-dry; thus, why I never had a “style”. Lol. This is my head, & this is my hair that’s on it. That’s it:

The photo is good – the hair is good. But it got old every day for… 30 years. lol

2018 was a year of turmoil for me; actually, the last few years have been… In 2018 I had a health crisis that sent me to specialists & a lot of other appointments. I had to face many challenges that affected me in every area of my life. Through that mess & into 2019, I sort of went through a pre-mini-midlife-crisis & you know what they say –

When Women Change Their Hair, They Are Signifying A Life Change

I was going through a lot of changes – positive ones, but change regardless, & I was itching to change to my appearance also. I didn’t want it short. I didn’t want it any wild colors. & I didn’t want a perm. So… what was I going to do!? I’ve always felt that my style was boring, & didn’t reflect who I was on the inside. I looked up edgy hairstyles on pinterest & when I saw the side-shave, I said, THAT’S IT.

Now, what is a side shave exactly? — A side-shave is when the difference in length between the shaved part of your head & the rest of your hair is quite significant. The different lengths are not blended together like pixie cuts, short hair, etc. A lot of folks just have short hair with shaved sides & they think it’s a side shave…

I ate breakfast with my mom the day of that hair appointment. I decided to kept my plans a secret, because my husbands reaction was not good when I told him my plan. Lol. (I gave him a big speech about wanting to follow my edgy hair dreams & he relented.) I sat there eating my breakfast with my mom, knowing later that I was going to break her heart. I was a Judas – breaking bread with my mother at the table knowing full-well I was going to do a naughty. LOL My hair has long been coveted by my family for some reason, & to think that I was going to have a large chunk shaved off was incomprehensible. She knew I was getting my hair done, but she assumed it was just a trim… I said goodbye to her & drove away, going quickly do take care of the deed. My hair stylist is named Laura. She helped me through the process & we went slowly so the shock factor wasn’t too bad. I had mine cut in a square-ish shape that ends just behind my left ear. It was a pivotal moment. I had done it, & it felt so dang good. LOL

These are the reasons I decided to go for the side-shave:

  1. It can be so easily covered if you do it on only one side. Just flip your part to the other side & you can wear it normally. You can also cover it if you ever want to grow it out & it’s not awkward. For this reason, I wasn’t afraid to get it done – I felt I had nothing to lose.
  2. I wanted to be able to change it up at the flick of a wrist.
  3. It is a lot cooler on that side now. Not near as hot as I used to be lol
  4. Blow-dry time doesn’t take as long.
  5. It’s something I felt reflected my personality very well.
  6. I felt like Kocoum.

It’s certainly not everyone’s cup-of-tea, but I love it. My mom & the rest of the family were shocked that they actually LIKED it. – so I was off the hook! Lol.

I had someone not too long ago ask me what kind of surgery I had done… I’ve had stares… I’ve had old people roll their eyes… I’ve also had people tell me they like it… But regardless, I sure don’t regret having it done.

Maybe you are hesitant about doing something you have always wanted to do because you are too worried about what other people will think of you.

I was too.

It might just be a haircut, but it meant a lot to me to do something I wanted to do, despite what others thought. People put pressure on me to keep it the way it was forever – a lot of it being religiously motivated if i’m being honest (ironically from old ladies with extremely short hair) – but I just felt like I was being someone I was not. I do have a religiously held personal conviction about long hair, but I don’t hate on anybody that has it. It’s just a personal thing for me.

I challenge you to do something this year that you have always wanted to do. It doesn’t have to be expensive – it can be something as simple as a haircut. Push back those feelings from others for just a moment & go for it! I did & it’s certainly been awesome.